The light bulb moment

Wow, It has been a long time since I posted. Too long. There have been a lot of ups and downs since my last post oh so many months ago.

At the end of summer I was 244 or so. I started college again. For some reason when I am going to school I gain weight. The stress or something makes me want to binge and because I am tired- between work and school I don't plan what I am going to eat. I also stop going to the gym.

I had my English final today. Before I went I hopped on the scales. 264. Twenty pounds. And It popped into my head (light bulb moment) that if I gain six pounds I will be back at 270, which would be so easy to do. But if I stop and work at this I could lose six pounds and probably more.

I am done with this semester next Wednesday. I have a month off before next semester. A month to focus on weight loss. Starting today. I am going to the gym after work tonight and every night that I work. I have Monday and Wednesday off next week. But every other day I am going to the gym.

I will work on my eating too. Those are my goals. First to get these six pounds off then the rest. Wish me luck. :)

Drama drama drama drama......

Ok. So I went to my mom's last friday. As planned had a great time. I ate awesome and even managed to exercise a few times. I went to the movies with two of my sisters on Friday night.

I got to go to Kenzie's lacrosse game and Kayla's softball game. A whole bunch of stuff. It was just so much fun to hang out with everyone. I always have a blast.

My car has been acting up lately. I have had it since I was sixteen or seventeen so It has lasted quite awhile. My mom lives an hour and a half away. I knew by Tuesday that there was no way it was going to make it home. I was suppose to come home Tuesday but I didn't make it until late last night.

I ended up buying a car. Its nice and seems to run great. Its two years newer than my old one. I think I made the right decision. I spent today getting everything set and getting it on the rd. I had to pick up extra hours at work because now I am broke. So for the next bit I might not be posting very much. Always something going on in my life. :D

In other news...Today was my weigh in and the result is 247!!!YEA!!!! Down Two pounds from last week. It made my day!!

Well I hope your day was as great as mine!! I am hoping for zero drama in the coming week. Wish me luck with that.

As planned....

Today I went to the gym. Thirty mins on the elliptical and then the workout I got from Shape mag. I was at the gym a little more than an hour. It was a pretty good workout.

I had one of the applesauce muffins for breakfast. When I got back from the gym I made myself a protein shake. It is my great-uncle's bday so we had a get together with the family. I at one cheeseburger on a bun with ketchup and mustard. One scoop of baked beans and one scoop of potato salad. I also really splurged and had a small peice of chocolate cake.

Not too bad but I guess I should have passed on the cake. It looked so good. I was a little too impulsive. I knew I was eating heavier foods for dinner tonite. It was the reason I ate so much lighter this morning.

I took my cousin to get his tux for his prom this weekend. He looked sooo handsome. I can't believe he has grown up so fast. We grew up together and he is like my little brother. Well anyway it was fun. I wont be there on Saturday so it was nice to see him in it.

Well I had a good morning....my weigh in was this morning.............249!!!!!!!

It has taken so long for me to get out of the 250s. This feels huge. I am not far into the 240s so I have to be careful. But It made me feel amazing.

I am going out of town for a four day weekend so I might not check in. Have a great weekend. :D

Cookin Cookin Cookin

Well today went by sooo fast. I went to the gym early. I focused on cardio today. I did my run/walk on the treadmill for 30min. My hip was bothering me so I decided to try the bike. You lean back in the chair and pedal. I tried the fat burning plus program......OMG my legs have never been sooo on fire before. Lol, I was afraid it wouldn't be a good workout. I changed my tune after maybe ten seconds of pedaling.

It was hard but I finished the full twenty min. on the bike. Then I just walked for on the treadmill for the last ten minutes. I stretched before and after the cardio so I got a pretty good workout in. Tomorrow I will do my body shape up workout. I got it out of Shape mag. It is hard but I feel it working. The first time I did it I could hardly make it thru. Now I have added reps to it.

I made applesauce wheat muffins today. I got the recipe off sparkpeople.com. The muffins have less than 100 cal in each one. They are yummy and came out pretty moist. I also tried salsa chicken. The recipe said to use a slow cooker but I just baked it in the oven and put it over rice. It was pretty good and so easy to make.

I am really enjoying using these healthy recipes. Its fun to try these new foods. I think my grandparents are enjoying my efforts too. I am thinking about going to my moms for the weekend. Friday thru Monday. I promised my sister Kenzie I would go to one of her lacrosse games. I totally lost track of time and she only has two games left. Jeez what a bad sister I am.

Anyway when I go down I am planning on going with my sister Emily to her gym. They have a good policy about guests so I can't wait. Well I think that's enough for now. Have a good night.

I'm Back

Well today I went back to the gym. I was so busy with work all weekend and last week. It felt like I just went to work and then to bed and then repeat.

Well today I set a goal for myself to go to the gym everyday till friday. The reward is a sweatshirt from cafepress.com.

I made pasta with peanut sauce for dinner tonight. I got the recipe from sparkpeople.com. It was so good and I will def make it again. Even my grandpa who has been picky with food lately seemed to like it.

Another good day...

OK so I didn't make it to the gym today but it was still a good day.

I had a meeting at the college I applied to. You may have read my intro on the right side of my blog. One of my goals is to go back to school for my RN. Well I applied last month. Today I took my placement test and had a meeting with my advisor. I signed up for an English and a bio class for the fall.

I want to go slow and not overwhelm myself. That is how I have gotten into trouble in the past, and not only in the weight department. So slow. It will be good.

So it was a good day. I feel accomplished!! Hope you had a good day too!....Jessie

Retail Therapy

So my best friend Holly and I went shopping yesterday and had a blast. Nothing like spending money to make you feel better.

I bought some Mother's Day gifts and a couple of things I needed. The clothes I bought are the purchases I want to talk about tho. As you may know I am a nurse. I spend quite a bit of time in scrubs. Since I have lost so much weight (60 pounds) many of my white pants just hang off me.

I was kind of reluctant to buy new ones because it becomes expensive. I started in a 4x and am in a 2x now. I can't buy pants for every size I go through. Yesterday we went to the uniform store, Holly has a serious scrub addiction. I decided to try on the XL pants. Surprise, surprise they fit. A little tight in certain places but not bad at all.

The great thing about it is I can wear them for a long while and now I wont look so messy with my crotch hanging to my knees. :P

We also went to a store I had never tried before that carries plus sized clothes. And I was surprised that they were cute. We looked for awhile, I did not expect to spend anything because I had already spent enough, but I like to try clothes on. Especially now while I'm losing weight. It's just fun to see what I can fit into now.

Well I found a cute pair of jeans on sale. They were a size 18. NO WAY were they going to fit but I thought "what the hell". And guess what they did fit!!! I just had to buy the first pair of 18s that fit.

It was a good day. BTW if you have not seen Back-up Plan go see it right this minute!!! That movie is hilarious!!! So funny I almost peed my pants.....Jessie

Update

So sorry you all had to witness my meltdown earlier. I am happy to say that after I posted I put on my sneakers and headed to the gym. I was still upset but I took the frustration and used it to put in a good workout.

I feel better and ready to keep going. I think I left more than sweat at the gym today. I think I am going to try to keep better track of my calories this week and see if that helps. (Thanks Fearless Kate)

I want to say on a positive note that although I was not happy with the numbers this week, my body feels amazing. I feel strong and capable. Maybe that is what upset me so much.

To better days in this difficult journey....Jessie

The highs and lows of weight loss

I am so angry I could scream. I have weighed myself every day since Thursday and every day I have gained weight. Today I was 257. I don't understand it. I could if I had cheated. But I exercised everyday and I was so proud of the way I was eating last week. Thursday to Thursday. I should have lost something. I did everything right and I think I even increased the intensity of my workouts.

I don't know what to do and I feel myself sinking into a dark hole. I need to get over it and move on. But why am I gaining weight? A lot of weight??? Is that even possible???? I am not eating enough to gain weight. OMG!!! I am so pissed.

I could accept it if I was out of control with my food like I have been before but this feels like I can't control it or change it.

5K

Did anyone watch the Biggest Loser last night? I hope so. It was so inspiring to me. And to tell the truth, I cried through most of the two hours.

If you missed it, the contestants went to Texas to help motivate the population there. Anyway they ran a 5K with a huge group of Texans. A lot of them overweight and trying to become healthier. Their stories really touched me. Especially Jeff's and CJ's.

Well anyway I went to the gym and did a 5K on the treadmill today. Seeing that number show up was an amazing feeling. I can't wait to work on the amount of jogging I can do.

Tomorrow is my weigh in. I wanted to be in the 240s but I doubt I made it so I am just hoping for any sort of loss. Going in the right direction would be good.

Stressful day and more...

I encountered an unexpected stressful situation today. I don't really want to go into details but I just wanted to say that it freaked me out. Maybe not the actual situation but the way I handled it. Ok, nevermind that. The whole thing left me shaking. Literally. Left me speechless.

Sorry I know it sounds weird and your confused. I am sorry about that. I just can't seem to get my mind around it. It showed me how short life is. It made me really look at myself and renew my goals.

I am 22. On my last day alive I want to be proud of the way I lived life. I want to be able to say I achieved all that I set out to do and more. Wow this is too deep even for me. Sorry.

Well I got my workout in. Not the one I was hoping for because of the situation but a good one still. And I took Gus on his promised walk. (Gus is my chihuahua). Eating was good too.

I am just going to go live life and enjoy the rest of my Tuesday night. Try to get the feeling back in my legs............later

Ok, Ok, Ok

Well, I have not been blogging, but I have not been bad. lol. I am still on track. And I love to read other blogs. I'll try to write more but know that you are all a huge part of my motivations. You keep me going.
Well today I had a nsv!! Two pairs of jeans that did not fit a few weeks ago went over my hips and....buttoned!! They fit! It def felt good.
I took my grandpa shopping today. He wanted to spend some of his bday money. I decided after all my hard work this week I could treat myself. I bought an itunes card. I just downloaded a bunch of songs and made an awesome playlist for the gym. I am headed there now.
Oh and I found this boxing glove things. (I am kind of interested in boxing/kickboxing and wish I could find a gym around here that offered a class) My gym has a punching bag and the trainer showed my a way to get a great workout in while using it. Anyway, I found a nice pair today and I think that will be my next treat to myself. In my last weigh in I was 252. So I think when I reach 242 that will be my treat to myself. Later...

Bad Blogger

Ugh! I am such a bad blogger. I love to read other blogs but I am not so great at making time to post. Apologies.

I still have not gotten my butt to the gym. Its been two weeks. Eating has been OK. Not great but not horrible either. Actually sometimes I don't feel like eating. Nothing looks good. I had a few days where I felt just sick. I woke on Sunday gagging. Not a great feeling.

I just need to get myself on track. I see the success of all of you. And my mom and sister are also losing weight. And its not really even about the weight, more about the feeling I have when I am on track....I feel so proud of myself. I want that feeling back.

I am sure there is more I should say, but I am going to leave it at that for today. I'll try to get better at posting. :p

Happy St. Patty's Day!!

Wow, I can't believe I let this go for almost a week. It hasn't been the greatest of weeks either. I got caught up in work and kinda let myself go. I have to do better in the coming weeks.

Its something I have to work on. Being able to focus on more than one thing at a time. When I'm working I get tired and let working out slide. My eating hasn't been the greatest either. At the birthday party on Saturday I had a garbage plate. It was delish but not very healthy. I went to work after and was stuffed still when I had my break. By ten I was starving so I stopped on the way home at taco bell. I got two of the cheesy taco things with hot sauce. They were good but the guilt I felt after was not so good.

My eating the rest of the week had been ok. Not perfect but nothing I feel too bad about. But today is St. Patty's and my family is having corned beef. I am not passing it up and surprisingly I don't feel guilty about it. I have been looking forward to it all month. I love reubens. awww sauerkraut. lol

So tomorrow... I am not looking forward to the weigh in. I'll accept whatever happens because I have to. And I also have to get my but back on track. Get to the gym and start working hard. I get lazy. It'll happen again because its part of my personality but I just have to overcome it. :D

Weigh To Go!!!

Weigh-in a day late! Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I lost a pound. So it evens out and I am still on track for forty in 21 weeks. It comes out to two pounds a week and in two weeks I have lost four pounds.

It means a lot to me to be 259. I am in the fifties!!! It feels like a long time coming and I hope that the forties come soon.

I am working all weekend and I have a bday party tomorrow before work so I doubt I will have a chance to post very much. I am staying on track. I will be back next week. :D

The Work Day....

Ok, as I have said before I am a nurse. I don't work full-time because I can make more working per diem. And well because I don't want to!!! lol. (I am the first person to admit I am lazy). Anyway they call me when they need me and I say whether I want to work or not. Sometimes this gets me in trouble but I also like it because I want to go back to school in the fall.

I work mostly the evening shift. 2p-10p. I love it. I have never been a morning person and doubt that will ever change. I like being able to stay up at night and sleep in. That said, these hours don't lead towards a healthy lifestyle.

I worked Monday, Tuesday and I have to work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Mon and Tues. I got up at 9am, had breakfast, went to the gym, ate lunch, got ready for work, went to work. Monday I ate a lean cuisine meal during my lunch break at 6pm. Good right? No because then I came home and had the dinner my gram cooked. Steak and mashed potatoes. And then BTW I had another piece of meat. Gross. That is what I am thinking of myself right now. How gross am I that I did that to myself. I need to let it go. So Tuesday I had the same morning routine. For lunch I took a granola bar, a sugar-free jello, and a mandarin orange. I figured if I was going to eat when I got home then I would snack healthy during my lunch break.

Well I was so busy I didn't get a break, but I did eat the jello and bar on the run. When I got home at 1130pm I had a lean cuisine meal, a small piece of cheese, and one serving of these low fat cracker things(very good). Not a bad day.

Here is my dilemma. I shouldn't be eating that late. I don't go to bed for a few hours after but still. I don't think its good. And every time I try to eat dinner at work, I come home starving and eat another meal. I don't know what to do. Right now I am thinking I should stick with Tuesdays plan. It might not be healthy but it is the lesser evil. Any suggestions? I'll take any help I can get.

This has always been an issue for me. I am afraid it is going to mess up my weigh-in tomorrow. When I am not working my eating is right on target. It must be a mental thing. I guess the scale will speak tomorrow. In the meantime enjoy this beautiful day!

sunday and some other things

Sorry. I meant to get back here sooner. Time seemed to slip away from me. lol.

So Sunday...I was good. Holly and I went to Cracker Barrel (my first time there...very good food). I ordered a Chef's Salad with Honey mustard dressing. I could have gotten a different dressing but overall I think I did pretty good and am happy with my choice. I also treated my self to a raspberry iced tea.

So I had half of the salad for lunch and then took the rest home and had that and a lean cuisine sandwich for dinner. Oh, and for breakfast I had Greek yogurt mixed with strawberries, a little honey, and some almonds. Very tasty.

BTW..the movie we picked was Valentines Day. It was cute. One of those feel good movies. I can't wait till Remember Me comes out. This Friday I believe. I have to work all weekend so I don't think I can go until Tuesday. I hope it is as good as it looks.

So I made it to the gym yesterday and today. Very good. I am happy that I was able to follow through with my plan. I am planning a long workout tomorrow and maybe taking a walk later in the day. Its been beautiful out. And I want to burn some extra calories. My weigh in is on Thursday and I am nervous. Well I have to work this evening so I better go. Have a nice day!

Turkey turkey

I had a good day at the gym. Here is how it went...

30 min on elliptical
5 min cool down on elliptical
floor work for at least 15 min (crunches, body lift things, balance exercises, and some others)
32 min on treadmill- walk at 3.0 for 2min, jog at 4.0 for 1min

I was tired after I was done. And I don't think I had a big enough breakfast for such a workout. I got up and I wasn't hungry...Which happens alot. I knew that I had to have something before the gym so I grabbed a Luna bar (which I love..if you haven't tried them yet go get some!!!) It was delish but just not enough.

So after the gym I stopped at the store down the road and got a few groceries. Mandarin oranges and strawberries look so good. The rest of the day has been pretty laid back. Just hanging around the house. My gram made her turkey meatloaf. OMG sooooo good. I love it! Maybe too much but hey its me and I love food. But this is a healthy recipe or as healthy as meatloaf can be. YUM.

Tomorrow I am hanging with my best friend Holly! YEA! I am treating her for her b-day. Prob lunch and a movie. I'll let you know. I'll try to be good. Not sure where we are going for lunch. Its her pick. I hope not Chinese. My addiction to Chinese food is for another post. lol. Well where ever she picks I'm sure will have something relatively healthy.

Anyway....has anyone seen any good movies lately? Not sure what to see. Have an awesome day tomorrow. We are having a heat wave here. lol forty degrees in march. Feels wonderful. Good Night.

TGIF

I have followers!!!!!!! I am soooooooo excited. Thank you for the support. It means so much. (I am kind of tearing up it means so much)

Well, today did not go as planned but in a good way. I ended up going with my grandmother and we ran some errands. BTW did I mention that I live with my grandparents? lol and that I am flaky!!!! If anyone ever has any questions please ask I am sure I'll forget to explain something..:D

So anyway...Today I didn't make it to the gym but thats ok, I was due for a rest day. I try to get to the gym four days a week. We went to Salvos (salvation army) lol my favorite place to buy jeans. I ended up buying two pairs of size 18 jeans. I am not sure if I was right to do that. I am in a pair of 24 now but they are too big. I don't have any 22s but I have one pair of 2os and I can wear them but they are not comfortable. Anyway I am kinda hoping to be in the 18s by vaca or shortly after.

Was I wrong to look that far ahead???? I just don't want to jinx myself. I started in 26s and I was getting rid of some of my bigger clothes last month, well my gram asked me if I was sure I would never need them again. I didn't tell her how much that hurt my feelings but it did. NO, I won't need them again because I can't go back there. I need to start living my life. Start having a life.


And to answer my FIRST COMMENT!!!!! I watch my calories. I try to stay between 1200 and 1400 a day. But I am not very strict. Three meals, no more than two snacks(less than 200 calories...great tip I learned somewhere). I just try to make good choices.

I'll try to write more about food and exercise in the coming posts. I think this one is long enough. Thanks for all the support. Good night.

Number One

My name is Jessie. This is my first blog and I'm not sure how everything works yet. But I have been reading other weight loss blogs for a few months and they have been so very helpful. I decided to join the community.
I started losing weight in august. My highest weight was 314 and today my scale told me I am 260. It feels great and I want to keep going. I am hoping this blog helps. I joined the gym in august (love it) and I have been eating healthy but every little bit helps.
My long term goal is to get under 200 maybe 180. I haven't been at that weight since junior high, lol maybe middle school. I have always been the biggest girl in the room or at least it feels that way.
My short term is to lose 40 pounds in 21 weeks. I started this last week. The week this ends I am going on vaca with my family and I want to look awesome. This is two pounds a week and I would be 221 by the end of July. I can do it. This week I lost three pounds and it feels awesome.
I am pretty shy and very body conscious....something I am also working on. Tonight I tried something new. I went to a zumba class!!!!!! I am so proud of myself and suprise suprise!!! I had fun.....let me say that again. I HAD FUN!!!! I felt clumsy and couldnt get some of the steps right but who cares I kept moving, knowing that I was burning calories. I hope I make it back next thursday.
Wow that is a lot of info for one day. I think I leave it at that. Good night.