Another good day...

OK so I didn't make it to the gym today but it was still a good day.

I had a meeting at the college I applied to. You may have read my intro on the right side of my blog. One of my goals is to go back to school for my RN. Well I applied last month. Today I took my placement test and had a meeting with my advisor. I signed up for an English and a bio class for the fall.

I want to go slow and not overwhelm myself. That is how I have gotten into trouble in the past, and not only in the weight department. So slow. It will be good.

So it was a good day. I feel accomplished!! Hope you had a good day too!....Jessie

Retail Therapy

So my best friend Holly and I went shopping yesterday and had a blast. Nothing like spending money to make you feel better.

I bought some Mother's Day gifts and a couple of things I needed. The clothes I bought are the purchases I want to talk about tho. As you may know I am a nurse. I spend quite a bit of time in scrubs. Since I have lost so much weight (60 pounds) many of my white pants just hang off me.

I was kind of reluctant to buy new ones because it becomes expensive. I started in a 4x and am in a 2x now. I can't buy pants for every size I go through. Yesterday we went to the uniform store, Holly has a serious scrub addiction. I decided to try on the XL pants. Surprise, surprise they fit. A little tight in certain places but not bad at all.

The great thing about it is I can wear them for a long while and now I wont look so messy with my crotch hanging to my knees. :P

We also went to a store I had never tried before that carries plus sized clothes. And I was surprised that they were cute. We looked for awhile, I did not expect to spend anything because I had already spent enough, but I like to try clothes on. Especially now while I'm losing weight. It's just fun to see what I can fit into now.

Well I found a cute pair of jeans on sale. They were a size 18. NO WAY were they going to fit but I thought "what the hell". And guess what they did fit!!! I just had to buy the first pair of 18s that fit.

It was a good day. BTW if you have not seen Back-up Plan go see it right this minute!!! That movie is hilarious!!! So funny I almost peed my pants.....Jessie

Update

So sorry you all had to witness my meltdown earlier. I am happy to say that after I posted I put on my sneakers and headed to the gym. I was still upset but I took the frustration and used it to put in a good workout.

I feel better and ready to keep going. I think I left more than sweat at the gym today. I think I am going to try to keep better track of my calories this week and see if that helps. (Thanks Fearless Kate)

I want to say on a positive note that although I was not happy with the numbers this week, my body feels amazing. I feel strong and capable. Maybe that is what upset me so much.

To better days in this difficult journey....Jessie

The highs and lows of weight loss

I am so angry I could scream. I have weighed myself every day since Thursday and every day I have gained weight. Today I was 257. I don't understand it. I could if I had cheated. But I exercised everyday and I was so proud of the way I was eating last week. Thursday to Thursday. I should have lost something. I did everything right and I think I even increased the intensity of my workouts.

I don't know what to do and I feel myself sinking into a dark hole. I need to get over it and move on. But why am I gaining weight? A lot of weight??? Is that even possible???? I am not eating enough to gain weight. OMG!!! I am so pissed.

I could accept it if I was out of control with my food like I have been before but this feels like I can't control it or change it.

5K

Did anyone watch the Biggest Loser last night? I hope so. It was so inspiring to me. And to tell the truth, I cried through most of the two hours.

If you missed it, the contestants went to Texas to help motivate the population there. Anyway they ran a 5K with a huge group of Texans. A lot of them overweight and trying to become healthier. Their stories really touched me. Especially Jeff's and CJ's.

Well anyway I went to the gym and did a 5K on the treadmill today. Seeing that number show up was an amazing feeling. I can't wait to work on the amount of jogging I can do.

Tomorrow is my weigh in. I wanted to be in the 240s but I doubt I made it so I am just hoping for any sort of loss. Going in the right direction would be good.

Stressful day and more...

I encountered an unexpected stressful situation today. I don't really want to go into details but I just wanted to say that it freaked me out. Maybe not the actual situation but the way I handled it. Ok, nevermind that. The whole thing left me shaking. Literally. Left me speechless.

Sorry I know it sounds weird and your confused. I am sorry about that. I just can't seem to get my mind around it. It showed me how short life is. It made me really look at myself and renew my goals.

I am 22. On my last day alive I want to be proud of the way I lived life. I want to be able to say I achieved all that I set out to do and more. Wow this is too deep even for me. Sorry.

Well I got my workout in. Not the one I was hoping for because of the situation but a good one still. And I took Gus on his promised walk. (Gus is my chihuahua). Eating was good too.

I am just going to go live life and enjoy the rest of my Tuesday night. Try to get the feeling back in my legs............later

Ok, Ok, Ok

Well, I have not been blogging, but I have not been bad. lol. I am still on track. And I love to read other blogs. I'll try to write more but know that you are all a huge part of my motivations. You keep me going.
Well today I had a nsv!! Two pairs of jeans that did not fit a few weeks ago went over my hips and....buttoned!! They fit! It def felt good.
I took my grandpa shopping today. He wanted to spend some of his bday money. I decided after all my hard work this week I could treat myself. I bought an itunes card. I just downloaded a bunch of songs and made an awesome playlist for the gym. I am headed there now.
Oh and I found this boxing glove things. (I am kind of interested in boxing/kickboxing and wish I could find a gym around here that offered a class) My gym has a punching bag and the trainer showed my a way to get a great workout in while using it. Anyway, I found a nice pair today and I think that will be my next treat to myself. In my last weigh in I was 252. So I think when I reach 242 that will be my treat to myself. Later...